Gordon Swaby

Dear John – er – Firefox,

Hey…hi. This is really awkward and I don’t know how to begin this letter. So I’m just going to run with what’s coming to mind. We’ve been together for seven years. Would you look at that? Time really flies when you’re having fun, right? In the beginning, you were light and quick – always coming out with something new to surprise me! Seriously, at times I got dizzy because of the speed at which you were getting updated and your new tricked-out doo-dads…But how I loved it.

Y’know, things were going really well until a couple years ago and…you just got kind of sluggish. I didn’t know if you were going through a mid-life crisis thing…but at the time I promised myself I’d stick by you no matter what.

So, I watched you constantly loading up on plug-ins, features, add-ons, new releases – just junk. All that stuff goes straight to your waist! You kept getting slower and slower…and, no matter how often I told you “You really don’t need extra plug-ins, you’re fine”, and no matter how many times I lied and said that add-on didn’t look fat, things kept deteriorating. You just had to keep going until you got…well, for want of a better word, bloated.

I was so brain-washed by you, Fox…I wrote off IE (our split ended acrimoniously, FYI), Netscape had a nervous breakdown due to separation anxiety issues, not to mention Opera and I aren’t even on speaking terms any more…I gave up SO much for you and I feel really short-changed. All I have to show for our years together is residual frustration at Mozilla Crash Reporting screens, random freezing and your tendency to attempt to hold the CPU hostage until you got your way.

Petulant, Fox. Real petulant.

Remember recently I told you a ‘new’ old friend, Chrome, stopped by to say hi? Well, the thing is…we’re an item. It’s not you, Fox…it’s – well, I’m lying – you. I can’t see our relationship going any further when you continuously threaten my workflow, hang-up in the middle of my website development work and what-have-you. Chrome is a great guy – and at first I thought he was kind of flashy and crazy, but he reminds me so much of you in the good old days Fox.

I hope you’ll understand, and that we can be friends. I’ll occasionally stop by and check in on you, and Firebug too; Chrome only has Firebug Lite and, while it’s okay, it’s not the full thing.

So long Fox…I’ll miss you. Maybe one day we can reconcile but until you sort out your relationships with plug-ins and add-ons, I just don’t see how it’s going to work out.

About the Author

NickMack is a graphic and web designer who enjoys long walks on the beach and poking around PHP – while wearing PHP-safety-goggles, of course. As one of the primaries of the JamaicanBlogger project, she enjoys blogging and interacting with other members of the Jamaican Blogosphere. You can follow her on Twitter here and swing by her blog here.

Written by Gordon Swaby

Gordon Swaby

Founder and CEO of social learning service EduFocal.com. I’m passionate about technology, the internet and the use of technology in education. I am a recipient of Governor General’s Youth Award, the PSOJ’s 50 Under 50 Award, The commonwealth Youth Award and many others.

Lovingly made on Monday, January 24th, 2011 at 8:01 pm. Filed under Interesting, Rant, Tech.

  • http://www.jamaipanese.com Jamaipanese

    death to the fox, power to the chrome. Glad you joined the chromed side, I did a while back and never missed that bloated fox.

  • http://mindleakings.blogspot.com/ Kyoudai

    I heard that firefox is going under the knife, trying to be closer to Chrome.

  • http://maybl8.myopenid.com/ maybl8

    To each his own, so it is commendable that you have decided to use Chrome. There is a school of thought about Chrome that some ppl will not use it because of Google’s suspect privacy rules and tracking Chrome users. These ppl use “IRON” (which is “Chrome” without the inherent suspect privacy of Google) available at http://www.srware.net/en/software_srware_iron.php.
    I agree with you on the “bloat” of the current FF, however, Version 4 “beta” appears much leaner than FF 3.x.
    Happy browsing.

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  • http://auriesociety.wordpress.com Aurie

    lol!! Nicky, you are hilarious!

  • http://twitter.com/therealnickmack Nicky Mack

    Thanks for all the comments guys! LOL =)
    Someone on Twitter – whose name I shall not call *side-eye* – has tried to plant the seed in my mind that Firefox 4 Beta may redeem all past versions. Death to the Fox, as Jamaipanese said! I don’t miss Firefox. At all. In the time I’ve been running Chrome, Firefox would’ve crashed at least 2x a day everyday. Crazy Fox. Wish it could go back to the way it used to be but…Don’t really see that one happening.

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